I am not one for making new years resolutions but I have decided to write a list for the first time. The theme is to be a better husband to my Wife. I know she appreciates everything I do but there is always room for reflection and improvement. It is easy to do things I enjoy, for example; preparing breakfast, household chores and making our home look pretty. But clearly, it is much harder to do the things I don’t like doing or tend to forget. I need to remember that these ‘harder’ things might be as important (or possibly even more) than the things I readily do. Ultimately, I need to be aiming to be her perfect housewife-husband.
1. Really listen
It’s no secret that husband’s listen less and less to their Wives over time. I want to make an effort to make sure that doesn’t happen. And re-address it when it does. I can easily carry on staring at the TV or Ipad and say ‘sure’ when she asks me to do something or for my opinion. I should give her the respect of my full attention when she addresses me. That includes stopping what I am doing and finding her if she shouts from another room. She has flouted the idea of getting herself a bell rather than shouting between rooms. I would much prefer that so I will remind her if she’d like me to get her one.
2. Improve obedience
Although I didn’t say ‘obey’ in our Wedding vows, I wish I had. I did, however, tell her privately later on that she is clearly the ‘head of the household’ and she agreed. This goes along with ‘listening’. She is always giving me lists to do, not all tasks are fun or enjoyable. Often they are just necessary for running her household. From now on, I will do each and every task with a smile! I think she will really like this one because I often huff or moan a little. She shouldn’t have to put up with me complaining as it brings us both down and we both know I will do the tasks anyway.
3. Beard trimming
If she has to remind me to trim my beard then I have left it too long. What puts me off trimming my beard is that the trimmers I have are cheap, snags and it takes too long. I will get a better beard-trimmer so I am always presentable for her.
I should wear the cologne she has given me for a present for the last 3 years. I never wear it and always thought it was fussy but she likes it. I should have more gratitude and respect for such a kind gift.
This should be easy. I just need to keep remembering. She bought herself flowers the last time. Perhaps a hint? Again, if she has to go the the length of buying them herself, then I have waited too long. Every Wife deserves flowers!
6. TV time
When on the sofa, she prefers sitting up and that I rest my head on her shoulder, Hollywood style. It gives me a dead-arm which I am sure most woman have had to put up with at some point. Therefore, so should I. (This has happended already, and in front of my mother-in-law who is staying with us. It felt a bit strange but didn’t seem to phase my Wife who carried on chatting to her mother and watching TV. My Wife went on to clearly display who was the Boss when she asked me to fetch tea for them. I wonder what my mother-in-law thinks of me. Hopefully at least she is proud of having a strong daughter).
7. Foot message
She never asks me to rub her feet but I know when she wants me to. I tend to do it for a few seconds, which she enjoys, then I stop. I need to give her a proper feet rub once in a while. She deserves it for having taken the responsibility of leading our marriage and for taking care of her husband.
OK, this one’s partly for me so it’s at the bottom of the list. She doesn’t have time to do all the ‘make do and mending’ in the house so she is happy for me to do it. I think it goes ‘hand-in-hand’ with my role in our relationship. She want’s new curtains for example for the living room. I’ve asked if I can enroll in a sewing course and she said ‘yes’. What’s more is that she is excited that I’ll be able to make her dresses which I am really looking forward to.
So that’s eight resolutions. Maybe too many, I don’t know. I will give an update in a few months. My main focus is to carry out the jobs that she gives me without pushing back. All whilst having a smile on my face. I want her to know that she can delegate to me and I will support her fully. Afterall, I owe her so much for giving me her surname and being the head of our household.